Mr. President you know how you told us a few weeks ago that these are hard times of high inflation, which this month rose to 14 percent, and that we should to cut back on expenses especially for those of us who drink alcohol. Well I have taken your advice seriously and I launched my no-drink-till-the prices-drop protest. I have turned to drinking only milk just like you Mr.President. I thought the milk would be cheaper but that’s another day’s discussion. I have cut back on my expenditure significantly but at a high price.
Am sure you have now seen the video of that good cadre, that skinny-glass wearing one who showed how patriotic he was by smashing Besigye’s car. It was a good message for those who don’t take your advice. Again am getting derailed but the point is when the next day someone started to incite your people to protest such reasonable use of force to capture the most wanted opposition guy who wants to topple your government, there was nothing on TV. We watched KiNigeria movies and listened to Rihanna-I hope you know the gal’s tunes. Remember you later went to Kenya where Besigye had flown ahead of you to dispel any rumours he was to put in the media. You told them the truth, plain truth that Besigye had the hammer and wanted to finish the entire police force in order to stop them from keeping law and order.
After such heroic acts by one Gilbert Arinaitwe I didn’t know why some members of parliament were crying. The Broadcasting Council has done a tremendous job of ensuring that TV stations and radios don’t give live wrong updates to your people. So I was surprised to see MPs crying in the house. I am assured those are not revolutionaries, revolutionaries can’t be devastated neither can they cry like that in public.
The TVs and Radios have so far been subdued. Remember how you assured us that these people causing chaos and those promoting the violence on TVs will be defeated like Kony, ADF and the “unruly Karimojong”? We have got the broadcast media down and it won’t come back easily, your men have made sure that it goes into hiding just like Kony went to the jungles of Congo where he does things your people can’t hear about.
I need to alert you however Mr. President that there are still unruly media people. Even after one of your soldiers, who was trying to keep law during the so called Walk to work (call it walk to jail since those who participate are well hunted and taken to the beach), told them that killing a journalist by accident in a riot is not a crime, they insist and go along with Besigye. Today they published false images of your operatives holding a hammer, the very hammer that Besigye brought from his car. But you know there are programs that one can use to superimpose photos on others and I guess you remember the photos of you dressed like 50Cent after you sang Another Rap. They used that exact tactic. You need to find medicine for those people in print media who don’t take matters of national security seriously. And there’s need for you to open Another Rap fans facebook page since these young girls and boys have been misled to put up groups against you. That way we will get young Ugandans like me who are part of the Uganda Waragi Appreciation Society group on facebook to your group. If they don’t come you can simply pass the khaki envelopes, they worked for you in the elections remember! And if the envelopes won’t work, just shut down facebook. Remember how they all shivered when they saw the Uganda Communications Commission directive to the internet service providers on April 14?
Now I remember that Runyankole saying that loosely translates “Even the one that tills a soft ground comes a time when they have to stop”, put their hoe on their shoulder and go home to rest. Isn’t it Mr. President? But don’t confuse this to mean am suggesting Besigye is right. In your case you killed your animal (Uganda) and those of us who didn’t join you in the hunt have no right whatsoever to tell you what to do. I just meant it’s time for me to put my request across. I need your permission to break off my no-drink protest to take some pints of Uganda Waragi. I have a walking permit; I only need a drinking permit for tonight. I know you don’t approve of alcohol consumers especially in these hard times. I do understand where you are coming from , the taxes on these drinks don’t go to farmers like my relatives. But I assume, a good Christian like you would remember the bible somewhere says a little alcohol to forget is not bad.
I heard today is World anti Press Freedom Day here in Uganda, I will take some to forget those false images in media that we have been subjected to for the last three weeks. I mean how can they claim that a 2 year old was killed by a bullet? Then they show man lying in Kiseka market, then all that footage about pepper in the eyes of Besigye, I mean this falsehood, if you are not yet a revolutionary like me, you need a little bit of UgandaWa to forget. Uganda Waragi drinking is also patriotic in a way, remember it’s a war gin I am talking about.
Rosebell Kagumire 
‘Africa, oh Africa …how often I would have taken you under my wings, but you would not.’
Jesus speaking to Jerusalem in His day …to Africa today.